Anger: Meditation und Reflexion to combat it
Meditation is one of the most effective ways to help the person to be placed in a relaxed and creatively constructive state of mind. Through the practice of prolonged mental focus and concentration, we can move to different emotional states and also is an excellent tool to witness the emotions and experiences that we feel and live every day, helping to hear and understand situations and feelings that we usually have in everyday life, but we fail to see or understand.
Anger is one of the emotions which we all ever felt at least once. Many times, while feeling anger, we can take different attitudes as to deny it, save it, shut up, dress it up or just let it flow. When we let the anger flow, and discuss, fight, cry, etc.., there may be no solution.
Is it good to vent anger?
Many people, when are angry, they think it's best to pour it out with whom they face simply because "they are like this", i.e. they think it is their impulsive and "strong" personality or too much "character". We often think that if we do not say what bothers us then the other won’t respect us, we believe that talking tough is good to educate and gain authority, there are even those who believe that humiliating or punishing can strengthen the weaknesses of others or make them look or understand what they see or understand.
It is very difficult to educate or socialize when we are angry. Under emotions of intolerance, despair, frustration, etc., all we can do is that other people have two attitudes: that they obey us out of fear and keep claims and other (as in the case of children and youth to the anger of parents and teachers), or to rebel against us and return, either with words or attitudes, the same emotion that we are emitting.
It’s not good to keep anger too because if we do this, the body will eventually suffer for all that we do not express and the body saves. While it is good to vent our feelings, this has not to be with the people in front of us. The best when we get angry is to try to get away from the situation and to relieve in a place alone where we can physically express how we feel. Hitting or kicking a ball, break a newspaper into squares, squeeze a towel, etc., are ways to vent our anger.
Once we feel more calm, it is appropriate, then, a brief meditation to see the real reason for our anger and understand the situation.
Meditation for Anger
Meditation for anger requires a space for yourself and time to reflect on your anger. So if you're in the right place at the time or simply have no time or opportunity, you can leave for the night or other times where you think a little about you.
You need to pay attention to what you feel because we can learn many things from emotions if only we allow ourselves time to listen with real attention.
Once you've found the right space, where you can be some time alone, close your eyes and breathe deeply, trying to allow your body to release tension and be comfortable.
Once you feel more relaxed, try to bring the situation that made you angry at your head, and try to recreate it as if you see a movie in your mind.
Watch it by yourself slowly and carefully.
Then, detect the real reasons that lead you to react like this: Do you want to make things your own way? Do you feel you do not understand, love or respect you? Do you expect others to be in a certain way?
If you see this, anger is often caused because we are waiting for the other to be, say or do things in our way or as we think it’s "right". When our expectations are not met, then we get angry, as a reaction to wanting to dominate the situation in our own way.
Wanting to control the situation often is not achieved with anger but rather with understanding. To achieve this, it is always useful to note that just as we want to dominate, the other person also wants to do it. To stop getting angry, you should start by avoiding the words “I’m who is right”, so that conversations do not become a fight but a share of views to help us grow.
Often, the hardest part is wanting to quit to be right. For this, after you've seen and studied a bit, it is necessary that you imagine the person with whom you had the conflict and visualize him/her chatting amicably and understanding you. This visualization will help the next time to hear more and meet the intention of creating more harmonious relationships in your life.