Insecure and fearful children

Insecurity or fear in children are somewhat normal, spontaneous emotional reactions that even adults have when there is a situation we do not handle, when we don’t fully understand, facing something new or unknown, or a threat to our interests. However, insecurity and fear may begin to exceed certain limits, and still not affect positive attitude and enjoyment of life of kids, causing not only a little participatory reserved personality, but all kinds of conditions due to the large internal stress suffered in organ and systems when the body is constantly fear and prolonged.

What is causing insecurity and fear in children?

In reality, there are many things that can make you feel a little insecure or fearful. But there is one fundamental cause: the environment around the child. An environment not conducive to promoting safety in children is somewhat easy to spot: when there are adults in their daily living that ask too much, some patients are intolerant to errors or rhythm or time with that each child learns and assimilates whether an instruction or new knowledge. The disapproval or constant criticism can be a real strong emotional pain, gradually robbing them of spontaneity to approach the world and discover, and learn to live with it, only because they have risky mistakes or being rejected or judged. The constant correction of kids is gradually undermining the intuitive exploration of children and their bright inquisitive and creative personality that at this age is fresh and full of power, eventually filling a lot of frustration, discontent and despair when do not know exactly to reconcile the sense of what they want and want to express with this aggressive outside world as they perceive it.

Child can be bullied hiding from the world in a way that often does not notice the adult, i.e. he can go into a series of defenses, attitudes and reactions to not being "attacked", i.e. hides the adult who threatens him in a series of defenses like being strong (when he feels very vulnerable), or doesn’t answer what he feels, or pretend it does not matter or that he has understood, and so on. All these defenses and emotions are contained would soon become saturated, causing a serious attitude then either rebellion, or a personality with frustration vault, i.e. constantly on the defensive or a series of reserves that will prevent him from approaching or relate emotionally to people, experiences and / or circumstances, which could build in the future a frivolous distant adult personality.

Reactions generating fear in the body and Solutions

Besides the consequences in psychological and behavioral, it is very interesting to see how the stress will rise to insecurity or fear creating many tensions that are slowly settling in the muscles, organs and body systems, causing a whole number of positive reactions that could eventually lead to disease or illness.

Wetting bed in children, for example, is due in large part because the child feels threatened or intimidated constantly (and usually) by a parent, poor school performance, contractures and muscle tension, digestive problems, joint , poor circulation, headaches, stuttering, learning problems, myopia (by accumulated tension in the eyeball), cramps, heart problems, etc.. are some of the discomfort that can result from the constant fear and insecurity.

What to do with the insecure and fearful children?

Children who are reserved and tend to be abused, who do not participate and some are related to others with great difficulty, are children who no doubt feel constantly attacked or criticized. You have to watch the emotional world of these little ones to find the source that can be retracted or making them feel emotionally, trying to drive them into, first of all, space of exploration either at home or school to allow them to be wrong "without consequences”, giving them confidence to express themselves and say what they feel and think, having constructive dialogues with them, giving them patience and encourage creativity. This certainly requires a lot of love and understanding by the adult, who often lack the patience, time or understanding that are necessary keys to cultivate trust and safety in children.

Violent-unsafe children

Violent children in schools can also be a sign of insecurity or fear they feel at home or in the same school. A bully, for example, that seems quite sure that can transform his insecurity, fear in a personality that seems safe but on the other side is unreasonable or inconsiderate to others, demonstrating that the child has formed a shield of cool to not show the insecurity and not appear vulnerable before others, so intimidated by his attitude, that is his defense. A child who seems very confident but who abuse others may be suffering from a terrible insecurity or fear. First of all, attention should be, as in the previous case, the cause that is generating that kid is violent or feels emotionally isolated from others. If an adult approaches a child with a friendly dialogue, firm and prudent, to encourage children's confidence, can certainly fix this problem, depending on why the child has learned to be defensive.

It is necessary that the adult is associated with an insecure child daily, and has the interest to help. Learn to recognize attitudes that are may be impatient, intolerant and even perfectionist or demanding, observe the words you use and see how kid responds. Often this recognition and positive change in attitude or attitudes of adults around the child just is beginning to feel more confident, and gradually change the attitude to go without special therapy.  

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