Published: 03/01/2009 - Updated: 09/24/2018
Author: K. Laura Garcés G
Every year a large percentage of adolescents under 18 years became pregnant without having planned it. Many of them are suddenly involved in a range of emotions and decisions that can result in a really serious conflict, especially when the medium that surrounds them as friends, parents, and even the same boyfriend or partner does not have sufficient resources and are sufficiently mature to provide support and guidance for the adolescent not only to help her take the right decisions, but feel safe, loved and protected for those who surround her.
Adolescence is an age where he is learning to be independent in every sense, all the teenagers in some way or another with a secret longing to begin to live their lives under their own decisions. That's why it's a time where there are great confrontations, because on the one hand parents trying to guide their children's lives and on the other they want out of all of the rules imposed, not because they are at the bottom all of these Regás disagree, but because they want to dare to experience what it is.If we add to this time a situation like a pregnancy, then things can really heated, where the which carries the most difficult part is the young, hot and without a guide mature, can really settle lelgar very confused and alone.
The pregnant teenager
The young girl who suddenly becomes pregnant without having desired can start to feel a multitude of sensations and emotions, but certainly the most concerned about at this point is the rejection and disapproval of those around them. Feelings of fear of rejection or dissatisfaction that may begin to feel increased according to how strict is the medium that surrounds her. It is important that as parents and friends or people she trusts, help the young, first of all, to feel accepted and loved. Only in this way she can think about things more clearly and may consider a more sensible option now she has the responsibility to confront.
Feeling guilty or confused?
If you're going through a similar situation, you should understand that these feelings are very normal, and the first thing you should avoid is to feel guilty about what happened. On the other hand, this is certainly a good time to begin to understand that in real life, situations are no "good " or "bad ", because what is something good for some is bad for others. In fact in life there are only causes and consequences, and by the time you spend is only a consequence of a prior action. What we need is to be as clear as possible, aware of what you feel, and acknowledge all your feelings as something natural, avoids disapproving and scouting yourself, you are your best friend because you need a lot of yourself to make important decisions. Fear is a feeling that could be very present, and you can take to avoid thinking about things in a clearer way. Fear can lead to a quick decision like abortion, however, you have to consider that even in this situation it is necessary to have a clear awareness of what you do, otherwise you could hurt both physically and sentimentally.
Do I have the baby or not?
When pregnancy is not planned, the having or not is a question that often could assault you. There are many things that may be going through your head at the moment, and will think that your mom, your dad, your brother, your friends, your ex, or the baby's dad, if you do not already know. However, the important thing here is not really what they think, but what you think. We know how much at this age one needs the approval of others, but you're in a time when you can grow and learn a lot, especially that there is no more important endorsement in your life that you to yourself. We'll learn a little bit, but now is an opportunity to support you as you begin to ask yourself things such as “ Do I want have this baby? How would this change my life? What were my plans for life before being pregnant? Should I tell the dad, my mother, my friends or not? Why? I am not going to have support? Why should they not support?
If you've already discussed with some people and you sense their disapproval, do not take so personal, they may be speaking from different points of view, you must understand that what people tell you not to offend or make feel bad, because they often speak from their own fears as well, their feelings of guilt, although many of them may just want to have a good and happy life as possible for you. Unfortunately, it's time for you to decide to do what makes you happy.
Supporting a decision
May not be easy to clarify what you feel and want, but you must make the effort to be a support. So that when you open a thing or share it with someone, especially with the people more closely, you can put it in a way that you feel not so vulnerable to the comments of others. You can help of a trusted friend or ask any advice either with the school psychologist or any teacher who inspires confidence, even in the forum for this journal is to open a space for you to open your emotions and doubts regarding the matter. The space is called unwanted pregnancy. It is also important that, whatever your decision, whether you decide to have the baby or not, it is a decision to support yourself and that you avoid making time to feel guilty.
Guilt vs. love yourself
Guilt is a feeling that pursues you especially when you did something "bad." This is something you should avoid in yourself at all times. Remember, finally, that no one ever known what really makes you feel happy, only you know. We hear opinions and suggestions, but forget to ask your heart what we want, without a doubt it will tell you what to do. If you analyze the situation, if you feel your fears, if you stop criticizing yourself, then maybe an unwanted situation can become a desired experience.
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