Published: 02/01/2010 - Updated: 06/09/2017
The tone of voice reveals more things than we think, says more than the mere meaning of the word. Many times, though not noticing, when we say something we send two messages: one with the word and one with the tone in which it is said. Observe, for example, when you ask if someone is angry and he responds with an angry "no", or when someone says "please" in a tone of complaint, impatience and with a hard look, this attitude is different compared to someone who says "please" in a voice of calm that accompanies with a seductive look of sweet expression. You can test this next time you say "please" and note the very different results you get when you say it in one or another way.
The real "form” of the word does not have its meaning, but the essence that is loaded, i.e. the true intention with which it is said. If you pay attention to people when they tell you something, when you want to teach, ask or invent, you will notice that, to detect when someone is telling you the truth or you want to deceive, or word gets boring or incoherent, confused and do not "say" really "something", there are people whose words truly convey, inspire you, give you strength, make you feel good and safe: they are convinced. And is that each of the words seems to be connected with something deeper than the mere meaning, and you achieve what is called "the magic or power of the word".
What is the secret of the best singers, the great orators, and those who influence others with their words, those who barely say something and seem to get it almost instantly? Do you know what their secret is? That their word has a special ingredient called conviction.
The belief in the word
To feel what we say so that it can transmit is not really a secret, the problem is that when we are taught to speak, many people learned that is more important what is said than the tone. Giving more importance to words rather than the intention with which these are pronounced really makes a big difference in the results of what we say, especially when it comes to asking, teaching or persuading. The true soul of words is called emotion, saying something can be a bunch of sounds or noises if not make us feel something. An empty word is like a body without a heart. Talking should not be something just to jiggle the language, but action to nurture the sound of mind, and give life.
How to ensure that the word is powerful?
There are two important steps to be taken into account in achieving connection between the word and the intention that we really want to send, this is about trying to create the awareness that the word is synonymous with the purest sense of a person.
When we talk, we reflect what we feel deeply. Our tone of voice captures and transmits in a very sensitive way our deepest thoughts and feelings. Losing track of tone we use to address the children, students, parents, friends, lovers, etc.., is to lose sense of what we feel deeply. What offend or disappoint a person's word is that this is not clear, honesty and has integrity. The lack of integrity or consistency is something that mostly confuses and creates a lot of despair and insecurity in children and students.
The tone of voice in teachers and parents
The threatening tone of voice, unsure or tedious that use, for example, a parent or teacher to educate, is really uncomfortable and creates a sense of rejection and frustration in the majority of children and youth. The insecurity that an adult feels when, for example, cannot control, transmit or otherwise make it clear to a young man, makes him/her talk in a tone of taxation, manipulative, which is reflected in shouting, blackmail, punishment and more.
Moreover, very often we see teachers who are not convinced, motivated or inspired by their class, then their voice becomes tedious and boring, passing the message to students, who of course are starting to get bored and despair in the classroom, and have behaviors that reflect the tedium that are absorbing. If the teacher does not aware of what is actually transmitted when tries to teach, then the easier it is to reprimand the students and force them to pay attention, which can become a real battle in the classroom because is forcing the young to hear something that neither the teacher himself is concerned, much less motivated.
This lack of interest or motivation makes people send many negative messages when speak, there is a kind of heaviness or weariness in the voice, and these negative messages are very difficult to process by the brain, cause mental dullness and heaviness.
For this, we can summarize that, one of the first things that influences positively our voice, is how we feel motivated or inspired by what we are saying. Enthusiasm is something that can be felt spontaneously. However, it is always possible to create us enthusiasm, although sometimes things depend on our point of view, there are feelings that we cannot pretend or disguise, and it is best to accept. For this, it requires a lot of self-observation without trial as to what really feel when we speak, this might give us hints that there is so much joy about what we do and think in a certain situation.
Enthusiasm and creativity
The second thing that should be assessed is how creative we are when we say something. When you are really excited about something, then the creativity begins to run and seeping into the power of words. Just look when you're in love and looking for a thousand different ways to communicate your love. If we knew that we will never be rejected by the object of our love, we would unleash all our creative energy. Falling in love is the engine of creativity; we realize when someone loves what does by how creative and spontaneous is. Creativity becomes increasingly seductive as it is mixed with intelligence. That's why the more knowledge we have about something, the more beautiful is our creativity. Hence lies the importance that our work is not just something to enjoy, but to know more and more.
Make our word a powerful tool has to do, in short, with so much joy and excitement in our life, how concerned we are with something or someone, and how seductive that is our creativity. And that is not about being always "happy", but to integrate what we feel with what we do and say. We can say something that is not necessarily happy, but if we say it clear, honest and direct, and if you print a little creativity, the word will be an arrow straight to the heart of the target.