Be who you are has more power and strength than you may think. To act while thinking what we are is just one of the great strides not only to achieve confidence and personal knowledge, but to develop a deep spirituality and maturity of mind.
A person who doesn’t accept him/herself will seek acceptance in the world out there, pretending to be someone that he/she is not, and trying to live for others. The more one tries to be what others want or expect the more the strength of character, confidence, esteem and awareness get lost. Living this way is artificial, and the artificial is something inauthentic, is a copy: it's something mechanical and dead.
Getting away from yourself is one of the attitudes that cause pain, depression and suffering, is like putting secondly the greatness that is within us. Also, pretending to be something we are not wears us down emotionally, because we have to do much effort to support something that flows naturally, it's like trying to change the flow of a river, or trying to get violets from a plant that gives roses. It requires much energy to maintain something that is natural and spontaneous. This effort, not only affects the courage and the will to live, but causes to the body many unnecessary tensions that ultimately can lead to diseases of all kinds. In this great effort to maintain a false self, vitality, grace and vividness of life get lost, which eventually turns into depression or feelings of isolation, anxiety, etc.
The value of life
The true meaning of life lies in the human being and doing what is truly in harmony with our hearts. When a desire comes from the heart, we can never lead to suffering but to a deep gratification, with integrity and profound realization. When a human being actually does something by himself being what he is, there is no pain, because the actions and responses will be linked to the talent and potential. But when he acts without harmony with the talents, abilities, tastes and prospects, and do something "that has nothing to do with him" then there is a rupture between the world and himself, he acts robotically, following what others do, think and say. Creativity is frustrated, wit and cunning will not flow.
Life is a game to be enjoyed, and if something prevents the desire to “play this game” is simply not respecting what we are. And if we play frustrated, this is reflected in everything else, as our relationships, friendships, work, money, etc., these will bring only more desires, ideals and feelings of dissatisfaction. Unless we learn to know and act sincerely thinking on what we are, we won’t feel full or creatively in peace to do whatever we want.
How to achieve this?
This may seem a difficult, because maybe before you should ask yourself, "What am I?", a question perhaps with complex response. But you can begin to understand if you start a process of self-observation and self-acceptance of what you feel and get the truth.
Everything in our lives it not there for a random reason. We attract according to how we think, see and feel life. Addressing the reality is a way of paying attention to oneself. And yet, pay attention will costs you if you do not learn before, the value of self-acceptance.
Acceptance develops since childhood, when kids require acceptance and attention as a basis for personal development. However, this acceptance is not always achieved, since many of the attitudes and ways of being of parents and adults tend to be disapproving, judgmental and discriminative, which undermines the security and self-acceptance of the child. A child may be very spontaneous when it is small, but if this is not consciously well conducted, can change confidence severely, which affect up to adulthood.
An adult with low confidence or security is an adult who does not accept him/herself, who lives between what could be and what had in the past. When adults have learned that it is more important to keep everyone happy, that there is something "bad" inside of them, that they have to be what others expect, and more, they often get confused and sometimes feel guilty, punished and inhibited of the spontaneity, fearing that this may be rejected or punished.
Unfortunately, school, work, television and other media teach many artificial behaviors like buying to feel complete and compete with others, trying to be what others want to feel accepted. We summarize the life in being "a good wife", "the successful professional," "great person", which leads eventually to a very lonely attitude, because life is not to be something special, but flow with our deepest longings. Often we confuse the willpower with the need to fit in. Willpower is a state of creative flow that helps us, it is not something that damages us.
You don’t have to become a picky eater expressing in immature and rebellious ways what you feel and think just because. No. It is about reaching an understanding what we truly feel and to mature the performance, which does not begin while thinking "I am happy," but knowing yourself, accepting and start being what you really are. If you are not happy, is has to do nothing with others, but with yourself.
The search of acceptance stop only at the time you just accept yourself as you are, without judging the weaknesses or deficiencies you find and learning to flow with the talent and potential you have. Accepting a state of consciousness and objective observation requires both abilities and weaknesses of the skills and talents. It requires a relationship with what we feel and learn to flow with intelligence from the heart's deepest desires.