The balance between giving and receiving affection

Published: 04/04/2013 - Updated: 11/29/2017

We all have the ability to exchange affection. While some people's motto is "giving without expecting anything in return" others are just looking for affection, without giving it. Some people find it difficult to receive and give affection and cannot be open to loving and affectionate.

Show your affection

The esteem is important, if a person loves and appreciates her or himself, this will be reflected in the other, and it will be possible to show your affection, this way we can get a personal wellbeing, and with the world around us.

On the other hand, a person who cannot show affection and esteem to those around him or her, then surely is unable to truly love and accept him/herself.

And there must be consistency between the ability to love ourselves and love others, since love comes from the same source, both expressions are important for emotional stability and enjoy a healthy coexistence.

Excessive demanding of esteem

This is usually successful people who seem to have everything they want, but usually both their families and couples, never fill their expectations, as they tend to be very demanding, therefore constantly seek new bond with people who believe that will comply all their demands. Generally, they find it hard to establish close relations with a partner.

Better alone than in bad company

If you are a person who believes that is better to be alone, you might be giving up and even before trying. Maybe we or friends who we know claim to be self-sufficient, and not dependent on anyone outside emotionally, however, this situation could be hiding an inner fear of suffering that is often related to other people.

Be careful with this attitude, as it can become pathological, preventing you from relating with someone else.

Difficulty receiving affection

Some people no matter how much they love, they are always there to help and show affection, are friendly people, retailers, good companions. However, when someone shows them affection, they walk away, and resist.

There are several reasons why a person is unable, or find it difficult to receive affection. Low self-esteem is a one of these reasons; as a person, not thought worthy, follows the rules of society that has taught that it is better to give than receive.

There can also be an individual who thinks that receiving affection is a dependence on others.

The balance

Whether giving or receiving hinder us affection, both are considered a problem in our ability to relate to others, which affects us emotionally, if you discovered that you have these difficulties, the best is to turn to a professional so you can help discover the problem behind these difficulties and thus achieve behavior modification.

Respect, empathy and authenticity are the three basic attitudes to generate healthy emotional relationships.

The first involves learning ability to accept others, even when we disagree or disapprove their behavior. Also includes listening and paying attention to what the other person is feeling and expressing.

The second involves recognizing our own feelings and those of others. It's about understanding the other in the emotional part to achieve affective communication. The third relates to be consistent with what we think, feel and do.

Learn to know yourself, to give value, consistent with what you feel, and do not try to deny it. We all need affection, respect and appreciation, as well as to express what we feel.

About the author
  • Miriam Reyes

    Miriam Reyes is a professional expert in nutrition and dietetics. She has more than 12 years of experience in caring for patients with overweight and eating problems. She studied at the Universidad del Valle de Atemajac (UNIVA), where she obtained a degree in nutrition. Linkedin profile.

2 Replies to “The balance between giving and receiving affection”
  • Claire says:

    I find this article really comforting for those people who are trying to find love or a good relationship and they can because of inner feelings that might be affecting the person in several ways. I think that the most important thing is to have a good self-esteem since it is the base to relate with others.

  • Stacy says:

    It’s all too easy to demand more than the give, and I think giving is one of the things that truly liberates us from demanding or needing from others. When you truly learn to give (and I like everyone else continue to work on this), you realize just how deep your well of love goes, and you realize that you already have everything you need. To work on this every day with a loved one is a true blessing.