Published: 09/04/2011 - Updated: 09/05/2018
Everyone has ever wanted to convince someone of something: the parents to their children, children to their parents, the students to the teacher, the worker to the director, the groom to the bride, a friend to another friend, etc. The art of convincing the other has its secrets, there are very compelling people who have learned how to transmit and enthuse others with their ideas. Here we share eight secrets that will definitely help you when trying to persuade someone.
1. Convince yourself before
You will not convince anyone or anything without truly believing what you want. To convince someone you have to convey your reasons, which must be very clear before. Remember that you not only transmit a message with the words, your voice, your look and your whole body language speak quietly and send messages to the other. If you have doubts or fear, you will give this message and the other person won’t believe you.
2. Be realistic
Before you propose something, analyze the context and see if your proposal is not far out of reality. For example, if you ask for salary increase, before, think about your work and if you're giving enough to the company, or evaluate the quality of your work so you can speak with certainty about this. You have to understand what you give and what you ask. Parents and teachers should keep this on mind. And find a balance between this.
3. Do not be afraid to lose
One of the biggest problems to convince someone is that we often mix the fear of losing a permit, a job, good pay, opportunity, and more. For this, you must accept the risks involved to propose something, and value and accept the possible endings before you start the proposal. If you have not assessed the possible endings, when you ask for something you will feel a lot of fear to any end.
4. All you can lose is the doubt
This is a phrase that can serve you to take more risks on your reasons and motives. Before suggesting what you want, value the worst thing that could happen, and find a possible solution if this case happens. For example, if you convince a girl to go out with you, appreciate the fact of the refusal, and how you would respond if she refuses. Keep in mind that it is better to risk than to spend quiet doing nothing. A negative is always better than keeping quiet when you want to talk. So all you can lose is doubt.
5. Develop strategic and sincere language
It is very important to consider a body and normal language while proposing something. If you want to convince someone, you need to propose several ways to analyze valuing the person to whom you go and context. For example, if you ask a difficult girl to go out, perhaps it’s better to say "I really love to hear more about you" than "Would you like to go out with me?". To find an appropriate language, try several ways to say something, use a mirror that can be helpful if the proposal is face to face. Watch the language where you feel comfortable and honest. Do not try to copy shapes or talk like anyone, it is always best to be straightforward and honest.
6. Learn to listen to other’s reasons
Once you are ready to explain the proposal, then take into account and give true importance to the reasons of the other. Do not focus only on what you think or want, because you can get a very good deal if you try to listen. Learn to give a little, and calmly explain what you want, especially in work environments. If you feel hopeless when you're proposing something, you'd better tell the other person that you need some time to think and try to calm down before you keep trying to convince. Avoid propose when you are angry or desperate.
7. Be courteous and detached from the result
Do not forget to be polite and not monopolize the word to convince. It seems to work well to listen more than talking and learn to detach from the result but with this in mind. You know what you want but it doesn’t depend in just one person to happen.
8. Learn to flow
Be very clear about what you want in life: wealth, love, recognition, payment, and more. If you do not find this in a place or person, do not despair. Perhaps you are not seeing some things you need to do to make this happen. A refusal can be a boost to you to put your sights on something greater and really find what you want. It's all about you learn to flow and get convinced of what you want to find in life.