Published: 06/26/2012 - Updated: 09/30/2018
Knowing that we are imperfect human beings with foibles and flaws, is the key to a healthy process of personal acceptance, to reassure and love us unconditionally, and to develop and unfold ourselves fairly the in society.
Accepting this is not to deny that we also have talents and qualities that make us special beings, worthy of respect, affection and gratitude of the people around us. Unfortunately some people only focus on the negative view of themselves, magnifying it and feeling foolish and bad.
Perhaps this problem has its starting point in our childhood, which is the stage where we will forge a "self-image," an assessment of what we are.
For example a child, who is the shorter kid in his class, can grow as an happy or unhappy adult, depending on the environment, and how it develops the mind of the kid.
In addition to the experiences that are acquired from infancy, which may be defining our personality, adolescence is a crucial and important stage where you try to find a strong identity and fill social support needs.
It is time that we became independent from the people we love, like family, we want to demonstrate that we are old enough and can make it by ourselves, our skills and resources, but this is where it could be a breaking point. If in childhood we have developed a strong self-esteem, we can overcome the crisis and reach maturity, relatively easy, but if we feel unworthy, maybe you can go through dangerous roads, bad friendships and drugs.
So, how people see and treat us and how we see ourselves can have a major impact for building self-esteem.
Role of parents and teachers
It is important the role of parents and teachers or other authority figures since childhood. If we have parents who only highlight our mistakes, criticize us and never make us feel better, it will be very difficult to grow a healthy self-esteem that keeps us away from pessimistic and harmful attitudes.
Moreover when the refusal or comments against us come from people we love and we value.
Children need an environment where they can grow without fear, where they can freely make mistakes without adults laughing at them. Where they can be treated with love and understanding. All this affection will be the basis for people, so when they become teens, they are safer and can face all the changes common to this stage, physical, hormonal and social.
Love yourself above all things
If your childhood and adolescence was difficult and hard for you, if you did not receive the love of loving parents or the love of a family. Or maybe in the past others have hurt you and made you feel you don’t worth, you must let those wounds to heal, you must first accept that the past cannot be changed, stop beating yourself over it, learn from mistakes and painful situations.
It's time to reinvent, begin to love and value yourself as you are, it will be easier to find other people who do the same.
Improve your self-esteem
Stop having negative thoughts about yourself. Start thinking positive about yourself. When you realize that you're being too critical, say something positive. Each day write down three things about yourself that make you happy. Treat yourself with love.
View mistakes as learning opportunities. Agree that you will make mistakes because everyone commits them.
Identify what you can change and what not. If you realize that something from yourself does not make you happy and you can change it, start now. If it's something you cannot change (like your height), begin to work to love you as you are.
Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Do not be afraid to express them.
Exercise. Relieve stress and be healthier and happier.
Accept yourself NOW at this very moment. Do not expect the others to change to accept you and respect you as you are. The moment of power is always in the present, now.
Ask for help. Most of us have grown up in the belief that we should do things alone and without help. Especially on issues that touch emotions, feelings, etc. Instead of trying to do it alone, exhaust ourselves and fail, the next time look for help.
Praise yourself. When you undertake a new experience, do not criticize, praise for having done the best you could at that time. Be consistent.
Stop tormenting yourself by what others say. Remember that you are a valuable, unique and unrepeatable human in nature. Repeat "I love and accept myself as I am. My self-esteem grows every moment".
Remember that it is in our hands to change and become better people, you can do it!