Published: 02/21/2012 - Updated: 10/15/2018
Currently, the issue of finding the right partner is one of the greatest concerns to those who feel they cannot find a love to share their lives with. Sometimes we love and we aren’t loved and sometimes we do not love and we are. And sometimes things between two people just end because of one thing or another. For whatever reason, the point is that suddenly you find yourself alone, often longing for past lovers or imagining the ideal love. Many thoughts come to our mind; as if someone really exists in this world, who understands us and whom we happily share the rest of our lives.
Letting go: the first step
Although when a partner leaves you and cause us pain, and you felt that perhaps you did things wrong, or there is something wrong with yourself, or we are not good enough, handsome, intelligent, and more to have kept that love around us, it is true that sooner or later all those wounds will heal, you just have to be willing to really find what it is for you, learning to let go and don’t trying to get what is not for us. If we are going to be loved by someone is because what is inside us: attempting to purchase, handle, or require love from others does not work, as this only leads to more pain and emotional decline. You should left free that does not want to be on our side.
Finding the ideal love
People say that love comes when you least expected. And there is a lot of wisdom in this statement, because if you search love desperately, all you'll be doing is to chase them away, as people around us somehow feel our deepest feelings, and feeling the despair and discomfort of someone doesn’t arise a spontaneous love, because although we don’t know it, we will be demanding and demanding, and this is not pleasant for those who would approach us. Imagine you approach someone because he wants to give you a sweet and just when you accept it, he wants to charge you a very expensive “price” or asks or demands a candy or other gift from you. Maybe you feel bad and candy no longer tastes good. Same with love: Who would like to give demanded love? No one. Love is spontaneous feeling, it to give and share our beauty and grandeur, to give the most beautiful of us, without expecting a reward.
But giving without receiving only comes when we learn to accept, love and respect ourselves, When we find our own genius and greatness, then we can share "our honeys" and many people will come.
Understanding the wonder of love and avoid seeing it as a painful, complicated and impossible thing is a matter of understanding that love begins in oneself. If we think that "love hurts", and believe that the more it hurts, the more we love, we may often in lacking, conflicting situations not we won’t go to anything but more pain and confusion. Actually, what hurts us is not the "love" that others give us, but precisely the lack of it by ourselves, our inability to understand, meet and discover our beauties: and learn to share.
If search love thinking "you’ll make me happy" or "you’ll make my life better", waiting for someone to come and fill your own emotional deprivation. Under this situation we may easily fall in love many times, but such relationships "to feel good oneself" tend to create dependency and a lot of emotional pain.
And how can we ask someone to love us if he/she cannot love him/herself? And how can love or understand them, if we don’t know how to do it ourselves? If I look for love because I think that will change my life and rescue me from my misery, is not a good start. Seek true love with the attitude of sharing what I am. And while it is true that two people can grow together even though don’t love themselves a lot, and can find love together without having to be "perfect", if we don’t have a little knowledge and depth about what really is love, then the relationship that we have will be difficult and complicated over time because the other will try to meet our own expectations or ideals, which will bring a long list of conflicts.
The secret to finding the ideal partner
So summarizing, we can say that to find your ideal one you would have to guide the search with the attitude and willingness, not only to love the other, but to learn to love you from the other, which will make the relationship a deeper and enriching encounter: a relationship with more potential to reach great heights.
The ideal partner is not only the person that understands and gives us what we want or expect: it is one that helps us grow, to find, to discover and become great. If someone manages to make you feel strong, proud of you, being loved and respected, and inspired to discover your creative potential, then that is your ideal partner, because you are taking your own beauty and grandeur.