Published: 05/08/2013 - Updated: 09/24/2018
Perhaps the number 3 is a good number of people to have in a relationship for a movie dialogue, however, when it comes to real life, it is not recommended.
While not a definitive rule, most love triangles are formed by 2 women and a man. Usually when the woman has a partner, she usually tends to end the relationship before embarking on any kind of love triangle. Therefore, in most cases, the man wears this double life.
The mentality is changing
Although men are the ones who usually enter into a love triangle more often, younger men today have begun thinking about themselves and make the decision to end a relationship before starting a love triangle. However, men over 40, whose generations want to preserve the family and economic structures, prefer to have a love triangle while still being in a relationship or even married to someone else.
The love triangle
In this case we will focus on the most common situation: A love triangle is generally comprised of a married man, his wife, and another lover. The man feels that, for him, each of them is something irreplaceable.
- The wife: The ability to support a family, both socially and from a parenting perspective.
- The lover: The ability to escape the routine, boredom and a feeling of being "forced" to be with someone.
The main feature of this type of man is romancing infidelity and deception to sustain both women.
The woman must be a wife that denies their relationship has problems, distancing herself from them and therefore perhaps does not or will not suspect there to be a deception in the marriage.
From the lover's perspective, she represents the "breath" that gives a respite from routine in family life, representing adventure, passion and perhaps even little dirty secrets.
Consequences of love triangle
To reach this point in your life, you have to be pretty insecure, with low self esteem or compulsive convictions, determined to get what you want at any cost. There may be two possibilities: Whether you wanted to be part of a love triangle, or you just ended up in one by cheating, none of them are desirable situations.
The cost is certainly very high. It is not easy living in secret, waiting for promises that will never be met, and if they come to fruition, there is always the fear that we may reverse what we have done, because a man who tends to form love triangles can (an will) do it again when he returns to being involved in family life. In short, being in a love triangle is a form of sabotage.
Getting out of a love triangle
It is not easy, because it involves feelings of affection that we have surely developed for the other person, in addition to preserving the hope that one day we will be their official partner. However, this is a situation that may just be a complete waste of time. You should make a list of your goals, and identify what you want in your own life.
Maybe your lover is taking up too much time in your mind, even longer than the time he spends with you, or maybe he gives you some financial security, but, be aware that you deserve more than that and the situation is not fair to you or his wife/official partner.
Start to think more about your happiness, in your work, in your aspirations, start projects on your own and use the time you spend thinking about him to begin your own hobbies and interest. Try not to get him involved in any of these projects.
Go out with friends, family, take the opportunity to see what they're missing by maintaining a hidden relationship. At first it can be exciting, but being the third party does not affect anyone as much as you.
It is important to be aware that we deserve a partner who doesn’t hide us, so take the opportunity to get out and meet more people, relying less on him. This distance is a good way to slowly but surely let go of this toxic kind of relationship.
If it is still proving difficult to let go, you should see a therapist to help you overcome this situation.