Published: 07/06/2008 - Updated: 10/19/2018
If you often feel that people abuse you, you are not respected trusted, if you feel guilt when you say no is that you need to set boundaries. It is likely that we have heard this a few times around. Someone says: "Put your limits” and then we try to understand the concept, but at the mere hours it is hard for us to implement it. This may be because somehow the word seems to limit us, deep down, loving little, implying that we need to check the "distance" in our personal relationships. And as we understand love as a deep and closer thing, then this could be confusing.
But, the limits are the more loving activity of our nature, the limits are the conduit through which we can see a very genuine attitude to share with what surrounds us.
Note around you: everything has a form, contour, a limit, the table, a face, your own hand, everything has a shape. And every way, say, has its limits. If the plant had no limits and their colors overflow, if your hand is diluted with the window and the container with the clothing of your neighbor, then it would be a real mess, and the relationship you have now with what surrounds could not take place because everything is messed up.
You have a very spontaneous nature which gives it a unique and genuine attitude to your way of being. When you break this line, and start affecting what you are, giving preference to what you're not, then we could say that with what you've lost your form to become a mess with yourself and the relationships to be somewhat confusing that can cause pain and many other non-pleasant emotions.
Respect what you are
Talking of limits is, in essence, of respect for what you are on your way to be honest. When you respect yourself, then you are in a very clear, original and honest way to those around you. The problem here is that you do not know when, when you do not know how you really like, when you have not managed to establish a genuine and honest relationship with yourself, then it will be very difficult in to share with others, you'll very often tend to become "a mess" in your relationships.
Yourself, your character
What is being a mess? You lose your way t understand the other forms as they are, and this is where the concept you have of yourself, for yourself is weak, confusing, unclear. When yourself is weak or confused, you cannot give you value, because one cannot value what does not know it, so having confusion about who we are is the same as lower our value. This is why we "stir up" your feelings with others, and expect to obtain a clear value from your relationships, but the problem here is that others will act with rejection, contempt, estrangement, because they want you to share your clarity, your strength.
Being a mess is like, in other words, lack of character, and admitting this is no reason to feel guilty or weak. Recognition is the first step to begin to regain a clear picture of oneself.
What to do?
What to do when you're not considered or respected is to go within yourself and identify where you have lost your way, i.e. where a person has not been honest, sincere, and just to himself. When you lose the compass, you lose your way, and are confused when it is your responsibility, so you do not correspond to the other.
This requires action on your relationships in a very loving act that sings I'll give myself, to myself. Which means you must start with yourself and ask what is required out there: if you ask for respect, respect who you are, whether to require consideration, it starts with you, if you do not understand why you do so cruel that, start to get a clarity about life that really want to get stronger and start to walk away and say no to those who do not want in your life.
Fear of rejection and guilt are two major obstacles to overcome, and sometimes endure situations because we fear losing. In reality there is nothing you can lose. And if something is lost if it is the doubt. Furthermore, I believe it is better to lose one hundred friends and earn the value of oneself, than to lose yourself and win one hundred friends.
Remember one thing: no one really knows how to love, because we are all learning how to do it. If you expect someone to love, you will spend your life waiting, which means you spend your life without love, simply because no one will love you if you do not start. So turn yourself and be friendly with you, now you can start realizing it has been unfair and where you put in bad situations that cause you pain. If you insist on this rather than waiting for someone you love, then I assure you that you will love some night, and resting next to you is that person, to never leave your side.