Published: 02/28/2013 - Updated: 09/30/2018
Nobody is made of gold, in coexistence with others, there will always be people who do not like us. We must accept that we are not friendly to everyone, and learn to deal with those who do not like us too.
Have you ever felt fear of rejection? Have you experienced a feeling of helplessness in front of others? Surely, after a situation like this, all you want to do is leave the place.
Fear of rejection is an unpleasant experience that connects us with the feeling of being judged. People think they are being watched and judged, but in reality, most of the time, the only stalker look comes from oneself.
There will always be those who do not see us as interesting people, and this is an important detail because it is not about to please others, but learn to cope with the unpleasantness that some people may have towards us.
There are situations in which certainly rejection affects us and causes us a strong emotion that brings out our pride and we prepare the defense, but also raise the pain, we must learn to deal with fear itself.
It is important to understand that there is the possibility of rejection, but it is just that, it is possible, but not certain.
When people are kind of scared, they cannot distinguish the difference between possibility and reality. So most of the time, this feeling of rejection is unfounded. But why? It is a defense mechanism of evasion; deep fear of rejection, fear of being, to show us as we are, because we feel inferior and never think that our view is correct.
A clear example is when in a meeting, we expect the other to speak first to know what he/she thinks and say something commensurate to his/her thought. In chess terms, it is good in defense but in attack bad.
Another example is feeling totally dejected because someone contradicts your point, leaving you marked "forever" when the other was just making a conversation.
People who experience this fear, used to wait and watch very closely the environment, have a very good critical capacity but ultimately works against them.
While judging others, they feel superior, but when they know or think someone will judge them, the feeling is inferiority.
When we feel less, we avoid certain situations, we close. The problem is that with the fear of rejection, we flee soon. The only feeling is in our thoughts, without necessarily rejecting being real.
If you suffer from this fear, I recommend that you follow these tips. But if you experience that fear has flooded many parts of your life, resort to a therapist to guide you on the path to self-knowledge and acceptance.
- Learn how to handle conflict in a healthy way
- Analyze the specific cause that made you decide to isolate
- Separate acceptance of others from your own self-esteem
- Leave the responsibility for acceptance on the other. Nobody is obliged to agree with you on everything.
- Recognize that you fear something you've invented, the view that you think the other person will have.
- It's okay to ask what would the other like, but you have to ask.
- Expose yourself gradually to feared situations.