Published: 11/27/2009 - Updated: 02/17/2018
Author: K. Laura Garcés G
When we are conscious of the unpleasant consequences that drugs bring, then what we want is to never see our children or loved ones, including any person, trapped in this situation. There are many types of drugs and many have bad consequences, however, we can summarize that drugs are an alternative that offers an "escape" from an experience that causes pain, confusion, loneliness or frustration, that being stronger than understanding, the person doesn’t know how to drive. Then a need comes to avoid or escape the feelings.
Knowing what to do with what we feel is a vital key to human growth, and how to help our children understand their emotions is to help build a safe, creative and willing character. This little emotional guidance can help give an idea of how to reinforce behaviors in children and young people and how you can help them feel better about what they are, to put limits, to warm themselves and be responsible.
Feeling necessary is a very important sense for humans, even stronger than the need to survive. A person with suicidal feelings, or a person using drugs, often have the feeling that life has no meaning, and that what he is, does or thinks is not necessary or useful to anyone. It is very important to say to our children that are important to us and their environment, we need their help to do certain tasks, we are interested in learning from them, hear them. It is good also assign certain tasks at home, not "because it is your duty," but "because I need your help to maintain order and cleanliness.", Or put them in charge of a pet. Also it is important to promote need for creativity, that they suggest ideas, tell whether or not they like a new place in the house, and so on.
It should be pursued as a time to be with children and youth to discuss and exchange ideas or just to eat. This should be done at least once a day. This habit should be encouraged as it helps enormously to the child to be safe, to feed back to exchange ideas, to feel that someone is there. We must not do this near the TV because this defeats the intent of the meeting, preferably avoid being interrupt with phone calls.
Avoid imposing your ideas with severity
The severity creates very insecure and rebellious children. We must always seek to establish dialogues in which the child or young person gives their opinion, for this is that parents need not be taken as personal mindset of children, and instead, share their feelings instead of ordering. This does not mean being a parent without character, means you can be firm but not hard. We must avoid further family climates where the constant trial giving the child's attitudes, one must take into account that the child does not learn or are unsure of what he/she is when feels that the environment is hostile and is being consistently rejected or judged, or feels that is increasingly irrelevant, or perceives that there is a possibility of being ridiculous. In such an environment, the small start to practice self-defense, which is to begin to form "shell" or ways of being and speaking that are at the constant defensive, which translates, among other things, a character very secretive or very rebellious.
Do not praise just because
When you do, be very precise and tell the children that was exactly right and, if necessary, tell them what went wrong. When you just say "it was very good," sends a very vague and very general feedback, not anything specifically. But if you say "I like when you keep your shoes in place" then the child can be fed back to the commentary. The generic approval does not confirm the importance of work, the specific approval does, and gives the child security and value. You have to try, also not always use the word "but" after the eulogy. Praise must be exempted from some "but".
Teach your children to learn based on the law of cause and effect
It is necessary that they feel that their actions have consequences; easily forgiving what they do, just because we do not want to chastise them or make them feel bad, is an attitude that leads to severe problems in the long run, because the child does not feel the fallout of shares and shall not limit inner strengths, they would be weak and be more easily manipulated, more prone to fall into drugs. It is necessary, moreover, not to condemn or make the child feel unworthy when he makes something that we do not like or think is correct, it is best, depending on the child's age, make it responsive to what he does. For example, if the child breaks an object in a strange house, the worst is scolding and insulting to the child for what happened. The correct way is to say, "Well, now we have to pay this. How can we do that? You may have to help me do certain tasks, etc.. And besides, we should go say something to the owner of this object. "A child of 4 years of age can understand this.
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