Anger: How to prevent losing control?
When something bothers us, there is a chance that anger can take over: Sometimes this may be necessary, but sometimes it is excessive and unjustified. When we are attacked, devalued, or abused it is normal to experience anger, but each of us have different sensitivities and it is very possible that our reactions will be different.
There are many types of anger, as it was mentioned before each of us is different, but here we can describe some of the most common types.
Those who are reserved up until they explode
Certain types of people tend not to show anger even though disturbed, distressed or when something does not seem fair, however, although they do experience anger, they do not show it as they fear inconvenience or being rejected. However, this anger accumulates, until at one point it will explode. Usually this happens during a small dispute and is therefore taken as an overreaction.
What can I do? One must learn to communicate annoyances and avoid allowing them to accumulate. It is likely that we do not want to bother or annoy others, or that something which bothers us may seem insignificant to others, however it is better to talk and try to communicate what affects you to avoid the anger building up.
Explodes and then moves on quickly
This is the person who gets angry at the slightest provocation, as if it were a very bad or serious situation but then moves on from his/her anger very quickly. The person who embodies this kind of anger usually ends up upset while angry, but after a few minutes he/she is completely relaxed again.
What can I do? If you can identify with this type of person, you should know that these reactions not only affect other people, but also your own inter-personal relationships with other. This type of behaviour can make us lose friends, job opportunities and more, so try to learn to identify when you are beginning to feel angry and do not let the anger become an overriding way to release tensions.
Prolonged anger
This type of anger is more commonly found in women: It is anger that is continued or reserved for a long time and is just waiting for any opportunity to remember and bring out that which generated the anger in the first place.
What can I do? It is recommended to think more before you speak as you cannot go back and change what made you angry, therefore it makes no sense to continue being annoyed about it – you must try to leave it behind and open yourself to new feelings instead.
Those who do not express anger
These are people who pretend not to care about events that could make anyone angry and phrases like "no big deal" or "no good to claim" are characteristic of this attitude. However, the accumulated anger and frustration can trigger the presence of psychosomatic illnesses such as ulcers, asthma and excessive eating, among others.
What can I do? In most of these cases, therapy is recommended in order to make significant changes in the behavior of this type of person.
Violent anger
This is anger that has to do with an aggressive personality, normally of someone who gets angry and uses injury, threats or abuse to express their anger. Generally those who express their anger in this way often justify themselves by saying things like "it was your fault that I reacted like that", leaving the responsibility to others. However, the fact is that anger is always the responsibility of the person who expresses it.
People who often react violently instill fear in those around them, avoiding confrontation and trying hard not to provoke their angry reactions in any way.
What to do? You must see a professional, as this type of angry reaction is very difficult to overcome by yourself. It affects both victims of anger, and the person who tends to react with violence, as any situation or person can trigger anger and it is unhealthy to be subjected to this kind of stress. The problem is in the person with anger issues, not others.