Anger: How to prevent losing control?

Published: 10/01/2013 - Updated: 01/25/2017

When something bothers us, there is a chance that anger can take over: Sometimes this may be necessary, but sometimes it is excessive and unjustified. When we are attacked, devalued, or abused it is normal to experience anger, but each of us have different sensitivities and it is very possible that our reactions will be different.

There are many types of anger, as it was mentioned before each of us is different, but here we can describe some of the most common types.

Those who are reserved up until they explode

Certain types of people tend not to show anger even though disturbed, distressed or when something does not seem fair, however, although they do experience anger, they do not show it as they fear inconvenience or being rejected. However, this anger accumulates, until at one point it will explode. Usually this happens during a small dispute and is therefore taken as an overreaction.

What can I do? One must learn to communicate annoyances and avoid allowing them to accumulate. It is likely that we do not want to bother or annoy others, or that something which bothers us may seem insignificant to others, however it is better to talk and try to communicate what affects you to avoid the anger building up.

Explodes and then moves on quickly

This is the person who gets angry at the slightest provocation, as if it were a very bad or serious situation but then moves on from his/her anger very quickly. The person who embodies this kind of anger usually ends up upset while angry, but after a few minutes he/she is completely relaxed again.

What can I do? If you can identify with this type of person, you should know that these reactions not only affect other people, but also your own inter-personal relationships with other. This type of behaviour can make us lose friends, job opportunities and more, so try to learn to identify when you are beginning to feel angry and do not let the anger become an overriding way to release tensions.

Prolonged anger

This type of anger is more commonly found in women: It is anger that is continued or reserved for a long time and is just waiting for any opportunity to remember and bring out that which generated the anger in the first place.

What can I do? It is recommended to think more before you speak as you cannot go back and change what made you angry, therefore it makes no sense to continue being annoyed about it – you must try to leave it behind and open yourself to new feelings instead.

Those who do not express anger

These are people who pretend not to care about events that could make anyone angry and phrases like "no big deal" or "no good to claim" are characteristic of this attitude. However, the accumulated anger and frustration can trigger the presence of psychosomatic illnesses such as ulcers, asthma and excessive eating, among others.

What can I do? In most of these cases, therapy is recommended in order to make significant changes in the behavior of this type of person.

Violent anger

This is anger that has to do with an aggressive personality, normally of someone who gets angry and uses injury, threats or abuse to express their anger. Generally those who express their anger in this way often justify themselves by saying things like "it was your fault that I reacted like that", leaving the responsibility to others. However, the fact is that anger is always the responsibility of the person who expresses it.

People who often react violently instill fear in those around them, avoiding confrontation and trying hard not to provoke their angry reactions in any way.

What to do? You must see a professional, as this type of angry reaction is very difficult to overcome by yourself. It affects both victims of anger, and the person who tends to react with violence, as any situation or person can trigger anger and it is unhealthy to be subjected to this kind of stress. The problem is in the person with anger issues, not others.

About the author
  • Miriam Reyes

    Miriam Reyes is a professional expert in nutrition and dietetics. She has more than 12 years of experience in caring for patients with overweight and eating problems. She studied at the Universidad del Valle de Atemajac (UNIVA), where she obtained a degree in nutrition. Linkedin profile.

5 Replies to “Anger: How to prevent losing control?”
  • Benjamin says:

    Many people tend to be angry and this is nothing weird, these kind of situations are normal for any person who is under stress, and stress is one of the most common things in these times, so the point is being balanced and avoid falling into the fear of the anger, and hurt other people around us, making us look like a really bad person.

  • William says:

    I think I might be that type of people that do not express anything until all comes out of the mouth and you get so angry that you can even hit someone, that is such a bad thing but happened twice to me, but yet it was surprising even for me, so I think I need a moment to relax my day and stop accumulating more stress in my body

  • Nancy says:

    I suffer from prolonged anger for sure, and this causes me a lot of trouble because I can’t forget sometimes, and then I just look at the people I was angry with and then the anger comes back and this is destroying my relationships, do you think this is a heavy problem? I am going to try what you said but maybe there are more advices….

  • Stacy says:

    Great article, I”m really glad you wrote it. YOu know…a couple years ago I was studying at the university, and I was employed on the landscaping crew as a student worker. My crew leader and I were very close, she was only a few years older than me, and she confessed this problem that she had about just raging…all the time! The littlest thing would set her off into uncontrollable rage. Other than that she was a really great person, but before then, I had never really known of anyone dealing with this. It’s really quite strange.

  • Emily says:

    This is an interesting article on different types of anger that I am sure most people have come across, if not have reacted in one or more situations in their lifetime in the above mentioned ways… I certainly have seen/experienced all of the above types of anger, however I’m not certain this article really conveys what the title suggests – ways to prevent losing control. From what I can see, this is just a brief description of each type and then most solutions involve “don’t do this” or “see a specialist” – not very helpful!