Published: 09/11/2010 - Updated: 10/15/2018
The starting point for any start, change or transformation is acceptance. Accepting means that one supports a thing, situation or person as it is, without adding, removing or expecting anything different.
Accepting is a way to let flow: when one does not accept something, put containment barriers with which attempts to control or does not allow any condition to flow as it is.
Humans are accustomed to cross the natural course of things in a simple way, we tend to get tense when something does not go as expected, try to control, manipulate and direct the lives of others, we tell them how they should be, what to say and how they should behave, somehow we are reluctant to accept them and don’t let them be as they are, as we do with many aspects of life, if we often get angry, we complain and resist, we will not flow to where we want to go and try to do a terrible job of pulling it in other directions, we have not really understood the purpose of the experiences which are "bad" for us and we resist and get very tense because we do not allow the time to know us a little more, and contemplate a little more to reach deep to see more of what we're used to, and observe the importance of and accept us.
Acceptance of the self
Accepting yourself means you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can be perceived and recognized, there is an opening with yourself where you can feel and connect with your deepest emotions and feelings. It means that one can think of honest and sincere things, without trial or accusation, and can contemplate their thoughts so that there is a feedback aware of themselves, which is essential for a reorientation and restructuring the self.
When a man accepted himself as he is, he experience peace with himself. Peace is not a state of inaction: Peace is a state of animosity, highly positive and constructive creativity. Being in peace means that I'm patient and I have confidence to I understand that my strengths and my weaknesses can be my greatest potential.
Acceptance is a basic starting point for everything we want to do and build: we cannot build a new future if we do not know and aware of where we started.
The vast majority of people tend to reject, to varying degrees, which include, but are often not aware of this: a person who rejects him/herself speaking of disapproving ways, criticizing him/her dramatically. The point is that one does not realize how many we send rejection messages a day because that have become part of the life, we are accustomed to us aside, to compare and lose consciousness of what we deeply feel.
Excessive security may be one of the major obstacles to self-observation and acceptance. In the end, being very convinced can be a defense mechanism.
Symptoms of self-rejection
One of the main symptoms of rejection is to blame oneself, which is nothing but a self-punishment. We can also realize that we reject ourselves when we constantly feel despair, fear or anger. When we ask excessively for forgiveness, or we become "red" for anything. Stress also can indicate a rejection of some part of us.
Why do we reject?
The main reason for not accepting has to do with what we have learned as children. Many of the messages we received growing up, we perceived as aggression or rejection against what we were and felt: "How could you?" "You're a fool" "Look what you did" "How is possible that you do not understand?""Do not cry, scream, etc."
As we grew, we accept as true many of these messages, and somehow thought there was something "wrong" in our way of being and feeling. In addition, we learned to speak and direct ourselves with a disapproving tone, which often makes us unworthy and feel worthlessness.
What can you do to begin to accept?
One of the first things is to learn to watch how we speak and how we see objectively feel during the day. Then, little by little, start changing the dialogue we have with ourselves for a dialogue of love and acceptance. The word is very important.
Many parents think that perhaps the best way to educate their children is demanding and blaming them or making them feel unworthy and reprobated. However, this form of education is merely a reflection of how parents perceive and feel themselves. We teach the young the only thing we have understood.
However, without doubt, a kid learns to be more secure, confident and mature in an environment of acceptance, when a child feels he can make mistakes and learn from his mistake, he grows faster, which allow the space to be what is and who is wisely led by someone who is accepted.
Accepting ourselves is a way not only starting to mature our feelings and emotions, but open to a creative flow more prosperity and grandeur of which we have hitherto experienced. Our ability to accept goods and gifts that nature gives us lies in the fact of accepting. That's why every day, we should spend a little of our time to be with us ourselves, let us feel and see what we think about all matters of life, it is important to begin to recognize ourselves as worthy and valuable beings.